School's coming

We start school on Monday. I am not ready as always. This summer I especially feel that way. Since I had surgery in June and have been recuperating all summer, my kids have been with other people and doing things without me and growing up before my eyes. I feel this longing to hold on to them and take them away on a vacation just our family, just to get a few more days to snuggle, play and laugh together. I am reminded that even though Emily has 3 year before she graduates, it will come so fast. As Rebekah starts middle school, Emily and I both can't believe how fast she is growing. Emily admits it only seems like yesterday that she was starting middle school. Luke is in 4th grade which is such a pivotal time and seems full of big changes for my kids. After a week or so I will be adjusted and enjoying the days of freedom and their after school activities, but I will treasure the last 4 days of summer vacation as much as I can.

The American Family

I have started watching a series from PBS called American family. My friends Michelle and Tito were watching it about a year and a half ago and said it was great, but said I probably wouldn't want to watch it yet. I started watching it last night.
In the first episode, the mother dies of a stroke. In the second episode, it is three months after her death and shows the struggles the family is having adjusting. Michelle was right. A year and a half ago I wouldn't have been able to watch it. Even tonight I am having a hard time going to sleep because of it. Too many memories and missing Mom so much. It is very good though and I think to a certain degree, helps in the continued grieving process. Would recommend it highly.

The kids with their new cousin Elliana. They loved having a new baby to hold. She is Kirk and Bethany's newest.

Happy Birthday Mom

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday Mom. I miss you so much. I was thinking how I love that Karen shares your birthday. She is so dear. I love that she loved you and that you loved her. I went to a funeral today that was very hard. It reminded me of immediately after Mom died and the funeral home came to get her body. I just broke down and sobbed as I held her body. I thought how much harder that must have been for this mom who had just lost her 18 year old son to suicide. Only God is big enough to understand all of that. Some days I am overwhelmed with missing you. Other days I just smile thinking of you. I love you Mom.