. I don't know what to write tonight. I am overcome with sadness like I felt when Mom first left. My heart aches for her voice and her touch and her smell. I desire everything tangible about her. The tears come and come. Not is sobbing, but an unending flow down my face.
It is unexplainable how on a day like today, where God is taking care of my needs in a tangible way, that it seems I miss Mom all the more. Is it because I would have shared with her how God provided in the moment by moment of my day? Is it because she herself provided so much day to day while she was here and His provision brings that back to my memory all the more? I can not tell. All I know is that He is my provision, my life, my sustenance, my comfort in this storm that shakes me to the core at times. Without Him there would be no hope. Her life and death would have seemed pointless. How can anyone deny God's existence, Christ's love and sacrifice, His grace to us. I am overcome by His great love for me. It brings great peace and joy mixed with the incredible sorrow. It brings a smile to my tear streaked face.
I believe true joy is quite visibly peace and contentment in the midst of great sorrow
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